|My Special Piece to you this week is a question: “Why do you feel SMALL?” I find so many women doubting themselves, doubting their place in the world, doubting that their business can go global, doubting their earning power, doubting their impact!
This week, I want you to confront some of your unspoken doubts, and self-sabotaging thoughts. Ask why? Why do you watch a CNN interview of a phenomenal young woman, and think that can’t be you? Why do you listen to an exceptional story of growth and success; then feel you can’t attain to it? What makes you shy away from sharing your big ideas for changing the world, because you don’t want to sound dumb? Why do you look around your life and feel so ordinary? What’s the root of the fears you face about your abilities? Why do you appear strong on the outside, but continue to berate yourself in your mind? Why? Our doubts are often drawn from some fundamentals:
1. We grew up being told there were only two types of intelligences (Logic (be very good with numbers) or Linguistic (be very good with words); whereas there are Seven or more. So if you didn’t fit into these limited extremes of smartness; you were quietly labelled very early as average.
2. We experience failures, and didn’t learn how to draw the right lessons from our misadventures and disappointing events. So we fear failure, and every episode chips off some courage from our hearts.
3. Growing up, we were compared with our contemporaries who excelled at something we struggled with, or who struggled with something we excelled at! So subsconsciously, we built a belief that life is about “who’s better than who?”
4. Our education, place of birth, nation’s economy, skin color, state of origin, gender etc all come with stereotypes, and we silently adopt the limitations imposed on us because of those stereotypes.
5. We grew up observing older people in our lives and family (parents, uncles, friends’ parents, siblings etc.) who didn’t make great decisions with their own lives, or faced difficult times, and couldn’t achieve their dreams. – Now, that image is tough to shake off.
6. This one is big for many people, the persistent pattern of poverty and inadequacy in a person’s history or childhood, could leave a trail of feeling small internally, even when externally, more money starts to flow.
7. We may be faced with physical defects, health challenges, minor or severe disabilities or weight-related issues that could introduce strong draining emotions. You can add to this list. Now you tell me, which of the above fundamentals of self-doubt resonate the most with you?
So here’s what I want you to do; write a self-assurance vision using (growth-contribution-experience matrix) to describe how you’re going to grow, so you can better contribute to the world, and the experiences you choose to have.
See mine as an example: I will focus on my strengths and build greater emotional maturity in my life, so that I can coach/mentor/teach thousands of more women this year, and experience the peace, power and prosperity that comes from living my purpose. I love you and really thank you for letting me share my life with you!
Written by DDK